Stick With The Winners On Our Side Of The Atlantic - Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Winfrey... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. Starting as a rust repairer on a sewage trawler in international waters, on one cent fifty per month, Walt soon rose to control the entire US fleet, and he never even graduated from High School. His career has spanned over half a decade, during which he has acted as advisor to such alumni as Richard Nixon, Oliver North and Mike Tyson, and he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You, My Lai Was Just a Blip and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, Walt is the Puumaja Crew's personal realization and fulfilment coach, whatever that is.

Walt has just returned from a trip to Europe..

Hello all, Walt here, I'm so glad to be back in the land of the free following my trip to the old country - Europe. The whole thing was a mixed bag of experiences I have to say.
First of all, the sheer poverty of the place. It's just everywhere. From the moment I got off the plane at Helsinki Vantaa airport, I could tell I'd arrived, if not in the third world then the second and a half world at the very least, from the tiny little cars to the  puny, emaciated kids, to the safe houses for Islamists to the criminal income tax rates and 'free' healthcare.

Struggling to find a McDonalds at the airport, all I had to make do with was something called 'Hessburger', which my wife Betty pointed out to me, sounds more like 'horseburger'! So I had to make do with an inferior European burger, not for the first time. Sure, the Europeans are big on their street cafes, at least in the southern part of the country, but many of these are just one offs, they're not part of a syndicated chain nor do they have any desire to be. Losers. The ingredients are these so called 'natural' products, made by, no doubt unwashed, hands, over an unacceptably long period of time, and it was difficult to find anything which contained corn syrup.

Many of the folks just don't seem to want to smile at you or wish you a nice day, either. I was treated with great rudeness at one of the hotels I stayed in in either Germany or Ireland, I don't remember which - they're so similar, and was asked curtly to 'please fill your name and address here and the porter will take your bags to your room'. Not a meaningless platitude or toothsome soft focus smile in sight


Then we get on to the legendary European cowardice. From the French resistance museum to the memorial to the landing of the British paratroopers at Arnhem, all one big mess of retreat and counter retreat until, thankfully, we came in and single handedly restored the Europe of our forefathers (I'm of Welsh-Sorbian heritage and my wife comes from an old Icelandic-Algerian family).

Once, whilst we were announcing to the entire restaurant that we were from the USA, we encountered an example of the legendary European stinginess, ordering a 'family size' plate of authentic European buffalo wings, it came on a plate, with a knife and fork, and not a bucket and spade!

I'm not saying that Europe doesn't have its good points - it does: the antique churches, domestic animals runing free in the streets, the beautiful girls, just waiting and praying for an American GI with a poorer command of the English language than they have to come and whisk them off to Little Cliff, West Dakota, it's a place with real potential some day to produce something really valuable and long lasting instead of the motley crue of composers, philosophers, writers, inventors, scientists, musicians, actors and sportspeople they've been churning out down the years...but I know where I hang my hat, and it'll always be here...stick with the winners!

Walt.

Walt Gleeson With The Story Of Tragic Dwight, 2

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Winfrey... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. Starting as a rust repairer on a sewage trawler in international waters, on one cent fifty per month, Walt soon rose to control the entire US fleet, and he never even graduated from High School. His career has spanned over half a decade, during which he has acted as advisor to such alumni as Richard Nixon, Oliver North and Mike Tyson, and he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You, My Lai Was Just a Blip and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, Walt is the Puumaja Crew's personal realization and fulfilment coach, whatever that is.


Hi Walt here, with an urgent message for you...


Here everything has to go in soft focus, with some slow, mournful reflective, twangy guitar music of the type you got on that movie about the gay cowboys who were much better looking than more or less everybody...

"Ok now we've  got that in place, I'd like to tell you about Dwight....Dwight was born in an ordinary small town, in an ordinary state in middle america. Dad was a cop, mom stayed at home looking after Dwight and his two older sisters. But Dwight was different..."


Cue zinging sound that they make by sliding a piece of metal along the steel strings of an electric guitar

"Early on, when he was just short of his second birthday however, his parents noticed that he couldn't throw a baseball overarm all the way from the outfield, but rather just lamely tossed it in a kind of uncoordinated spasm worthy of on English gayman. Horrified at this affliction, Dwight's parents Brandylene-Jo and Seth, took him to all the doctors in the area and even went as far as New York City to find a cure, just to make Dwight a normal little boy".

Cut to Dwight's grandparents who explain that Dwight is a bubbly boy and full of beans, just to differentiate him from all other people of his age, and that all this means that he probably won't be a starter for the Kansas City Royals, though they'll probably be dead by then and not have to face the shame in the street; all this interlaced with a few finger-picked minor 7th chords..

Show Walt arriving at Dwight's home  in his cadillac and waving to the small child through closed window whilst puffing on a big cigar..

Cut to Dwight surrounded by older kids, playing a game a running round just to underline the fact that he is a normal little kid just like you or I and not some kind of freak as such.

"We ask you to help Dwight, and others like him, but especially Dwight (some of the other ones are black, for example) by sending a donation, as much as you can (but not less than 99.99 USD) to waltgleeson.com and make a little boy and his parents very happy by helping him to not still be throwing like a girl on his third birthday".

Music fades out and cheesy, soft focus family pic of everyone's plastic looking faces appears..

A Personal Message From Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Winfrey... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. Starting as a rust repairer on a sewage trawler in international waters, on one cent fifty per month, Walt soon rose to control the entire US fleet, and he never even graduated from High School. His career has spanned over half a decade, during which he has acted as advisor to such alumni as Richard Nixon, Oliver North and Mike Tyson, and he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You, My Lai Was Just a Blip and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, Walt is the Puumaja Crew's personal realization and fulfilment coach, whatever that is.

Dear [INSERT FIRST NAME HERE]

I have to confess I'm kinda confused. Last month I sent you an exclusive offer for my Deep Trance ™ product, at just USD 99.99* and for some reason known only to yourself you didn't take us up on it. 


I have to say I'm disappointed in you. Take a hold of yourself, you're either unpatriotic, lazy, a liberal, hispanic or all of the above. 


Now I'm gonna offer you this one more time, at the greatly reduced price of USD 48.99*...

...AND that's not all - I'm also giving you a free copy of a book that's just hot off the press and itching to be burnt already, which I co-wrote with my good friend Glenn Beck. It's called 'Get Up Offa The Floor, You Faggot' and it's really set to kick some butts.


The whole thing debunks the idea that it's not ok for guys to cry on cue when they're sandwiched between a stars and stripes and a camera (not when there's not - that's just faggotry) or that setting the middle east on fire is not the best thing for long term stability - why don't these people fuck off to Canada?


Since Glenn and I met at the exclusive Hazelden recovery clinic, after we'd decided to take action about the disease of addiction that both of us definitely have and need to join a heretical cult religion in order to surrender to a higher power (mine is the God of the scriptures, Glenn's is a little green man) rather than just simply quitting like anyone else, I realised that this was a man who really knew which way was up and how to get there, and more than that we were imbued with a divine right to harrass everyone else into conforming with us.


So, hurry now and claim your free gift of GUOTFYF as we already call it, together with the Deep Trance ™ CDs which we just know are gonna turn your life around just by the click of your fingers.'Cos that really is the way the Lord made us. If you're an American..

* per month plus postage in the US, to the world outside of the US, lick my sweaty ole scrotal sac.

Walt

This Month's Revolutionary New Concept - Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Winfrey... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. Starting as a rust repairer on a sewage trawler in international waters, on one cent fifty per month, Walt soon rose to control the entire US fleet, and he never even graduated from High School. His career has spanned over half a decade, during which he has acted as advisor to such alumni as Richard Nixon, Oliver North and Mike Tyson, and he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You, My Lai Was Just a Blip and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, Walt is the Puumaja Crew's personal realization and fulfilment coach, whatever that is.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so much so that I've given it the personal touch by referring to you as 'reader'.

Would you like to be able to control your mind, like a zen jedi, only much more effectively? Well now you can!

Just for my readers I'm offering this special deal, but hurry, it's going to close in 19 seconds' time!

For just USD 99.99 * you will be able to obtain anything you want, simply by going into my DeepTrance™.
 
What's DeepTrance™? Quite simply, DeepTrance™ is the revolutionary new concept in total mind power which takes the best of the last 4000 years of human spiritual achievement, improves it and distills it into a set of 2x 45 minute CDs which will enable you to achieve your spiritual goals of earning twice as much as your parents, being able to reverse out of your drive much more quickly than your neighbour can, without scraping the car this time, or having the lowest handicap in you local golf club.

The teachings of Moses, Jeremiah, Solomon, Budda, Confucius, Jesus Christ, Marcus Aurelius, Muhammed and others are taken as a whole and thrown altogether in onbe big pot pourri (they all said pretty much the same thing anyway) until we see what comes out at the other end.

With just ten minutes per day or use, you will achieve a higher state of consciousness than any zen master, within one month of starting the program, and your life will be revolutionized.

I'm very excited about this, particularly as my accountant has given me an indication of how much I'm set to make if I sell just one thousand sets. So, don't be an unspiritual pauper, buy it and make sure all your friends buy it to. I promise you you won't regret it, after all, it's your future that I'm asking you to remortgage again!

So, fill out the order right now - and as a special throw in gift, just as I'm that kind of a guy, I'll be giving a free copy of the transcript of a seminar I gave recently in Phoenix, Arizona, entitled "Why People Losing Their Jobs Is A Very Good Thing", but hurry - there's a limited supply!**

 * Per month plus postage, US and Canada only (overseas rates to Canada).
** or simply obtain a recording of any seminar I've given since 1977 when I last made a slight alteration to the patter.

Where Does America Fit Into All O' This? - Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Winfrey... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, Walt is the Puumaja Crew's personal realization and fulfilment coach, whatever that is.   Today, Walt helps us truly understand the truth behind time management and spreads a little of his South Dakota charm along the way.

Hi all - Walt here again, and it was interesting, but I was reading a very informative article the other day about the Emperor Constantine - you know, the fellow who got an arrow in his eye or something, and founded the city of St Petersburg. Then it struck me - this is all very fine, but where does America fit into all of this? Sure, Constantine lived some twelve centuries before the early settlers, but didn't they have soothsayers in those days?

Now I hear that a 12 part historical drama covering the fortunes of the Medici family in renaissance Italy is being covered, and the only part America plays in it is a brief reference to Columbuses discovery. I mean, talk about disrespect.

I was chatting with Dennis L. Johnson the other day- he's the guy that edited the black edition of my book, You Can Do It - A Black Approach (by the way there are African-American versions of all of my books available, something that the Emperor Constantine evidently overlooked when overseeing the first Council of Nicea - the racialist) and he reminded me of how great our country is - can you imagine a person of colour making it had the United States not provided them with a home and employment in the South, and later the North?

It's important to remember that the whole world is so greatly indebted to us; just take a look around you, it's almost impossible to buy American any more, since all those other folks learned from us how to make things and then started doing it themselves.

So remember, whenever somebody from outside of America is talking, just stop and ask them that one same question: "Where does American fit into all of this?" - and if the answer is, it doesn't, you can be sure that this is all evil lies which will prevent you from being successful and cause you to die on the welfare without electricity or water.

How to Manage Time the Patriotic Way

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, Walt is the Puumaja Crew's personal realization and fulfilment coach, whatever that is.   Today, Walt helps us truly understand the truth behind time management and spreads a little of his South Dakota charm along the way.

Some days ago one of the so-called contributors to this blog posted with his half baked ideas on time management.
He didn't even think to consult me, Walt Gleeson, on a subject which is so close to my heart (and therefore wallet).
I don't know this contributor but I can guess what he's like, so dope smoking, militant, activist, draft dodging limey greenhorn bum, no doubt, and I urge the PMC's good readership, both of them, to avoid what was written like the plague.
Since I didn't get to contribute to the movie 'how to do it', and it's accompanying boardgame, I think my cellphone must have been switched off or on silent when the call probably came through, and then probably deleted itself, I'll set the record straight and then you can waste no more time on this neo-liberal, pinko garbage and get on with getting rich:
Time CAN be managed, just ask anybody from Germany, a country in Eurasia which was one of the great post war economic success stories and, whilst no way as good as the US, was pretty god damned good, admittedly by odious, yellow-bellied european standards.
It simply has to be broken into units, and then smashed into smaller and yet smaller units until they're so small you could use them to season your corn grits in the morning, that's all. None of this ABCED listing baloney, or something about eating a raw crayfish for lunch, just straight, honest to goodness pragmatism and knuckle-headed guts.
Now, get outta here and get on with your day, 'cos if you don't, you're gonna be mighty sorry you didn't when the other fella gets in ahead of you, like he did me the other day, thanks to my phone being off.

Slow Down and Speed Up at the Same Time - Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, Walt is the Puumaja Crew's personal realization and fulfilment coach, whatever that is. 

Hi, Walt here again. I've suddenly decided that you'll be immediately successful, if you'd only do this one thing that your uncle Walt asks of you. I'm sure some of you won't (in which case you'll have no children and die in bad ways) but if you do, you'll definitely be joining the likes of me at the high table in due course.

What you gotta do is you gotta slow down, stop rushing around everywhere like a jackass, and start doing each individual task as it comes to you.

Remember, we all have the same number of hours in the day, even the President of the United States (actually due to a quirk in the constitution the President actually gets 25 hours, but most Presidents have used this extra hours sleeping). 

So don't be pleased with yourself if you 'multi-task', there's no such thing, it's impossible to multi-task, just as you can't have multi-anything.

Having said that, you must, must, go much much faster than you already do.

You complete peasant, I've seen you, sneaking a three minute nap in front of the TV after arriving home from a ten hour stint at work, or using the time that you five children are eating to quickly read the newspaper - loser! I personally don't have any children, but that actually makes me more qualified to lecture others that do, 'cos I can objectivitize and appraisalize the situation mroe easily.


So speed up, god damn you, make sure every task takes no more than two minutes maximum, and if you find yourself over-running this, I've found that hitting a metal tray over your head helps; you can buy one inexpensively at the corner store if you're reverting to your innate peasant tendency to look at everything in terms of how much it costs.

I hope this has clarified what you need to do if you don't want to end up a total loser on welfare in the ghetto, so start doing it immediately!

Walt

It Only Takes Some Seconds, Minutes, Hours, Days, Months, Years Or Other Unit of Time to Make an Impression

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, Walt is the Puumaja Crew's personal realization and fulfilment coach, whatever that is.

I was talking to a woman once..but she made her excuses and left, ha ha. Anyway this incident reminded me of the short space of time we have in which we have to make our pitch; do you know, it takes in the region of two seconds for someone to form an opinion about us, so those first two seconds are absolutelöy crucial. I can't count the number of times I've ballsed up an opportunity by sneezing at an inopportune moment.

If you watch the movie 'a lie' (which incidentally I didn't contribute to, purely because I was, I think, in the shower when the phone call probably came through offering me the gig) you'll remember just how critical a soft focus shot and funny moving background is in making that ciritical first impression, something that some of the world's most notorious people - Sadam Hussein, Price Edward and that guy that ended up on various outtakes programs for going on TV and trying to juggle without having practised properly and cocking it up - will never grasp.

This is equally true of a blog post; if you've made it this far you evidently don't have a whole lot to do at the moment but you can console yourself with the fact that you're probably unique in having made it to the end of this, so you can at least take that away with you.

So have a killer day!

Walt

Walt Gleeson's Ovular Analysis for the Day

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, 

Hi, this is Walt...you know, and old British commercial advised people to 'go to work on an egg', a very clever play on words worthy of Shakespeare, Joyce or even Richard Stillgoe, and it had me thinking about eggs...stay with this for a minute because it's brilliant, or so my PA told me when I was thinking it up last night in the hotel bar. After all, we all eat eggs, don't we? There's noone in the world who doesn't- you'd die if you didn't eat eggs.

Think of all the ways you can cook an egg; you can boil it, fry it, poach it, scramble it; you can put it into an omeletter or even bake it. but has it ever occured to you that they way you cook an egg shows exactly what type of person you are, wholly accurately and reliably with no hyperbole, speculation or cod science thrown in? No, me neither.

For example, people who favour boiled eggs are usually dependable, cautious sturdy types but maybe a little unimaginative, while those who like fried eggs tend to be flashier, more of a risk taker. If you like poached eggs that definitely means you are turgid and unglamorous, rather than trying to be a bit healthier. Those who like to scramble their eggs are a bit too reckless, and making an omelette is just too complicated and involved. There is a more sophisticated variant, namely baked eggs. This is really for the international club sandwich set. Finally, you can also eat eggs raw, although this is only for real plebs.

If I were to analyse myself, I'd say I'd have to be whatever the best one is, probably a combination of fried, baked with a bit of boiled thrown in on the side. I suggest you do the same, and if it's not exactly the same as mine, I suggest you change your habits and follow my directive, or you're going to die, freezing in poverty in the dark.

Have a great day! - Walt

Throw a Bigger Rock - Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet. Here, Walt expands and improves upon an old teaching by synergizing it with his own native Nebraska wit, to bring it up to date for the i-Wap generation.

You know one of the  greatest personal motivators of all time, at least until the twentieth century, Jesus Christ reportedly said 'let he who cast the first stone have a bigger one thrown back at them', in a story which only appears in the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, and even then might be a later addition, probably by schoolboys in the Greek lessons in nineteenth-century public school Britain. But nevertheless he was an important spiritual teacher and I happen to agree with him on this. But I'd like to add something more to it.

Throughout the last few decades we've seen a lot of upheaval and destruction directed toward us. The war on terror, Eye-rack, Uzbekistan, El Garagua and the confusions in Western Ireland to name but five of them. But through it all one truth has remained steady, that of sticking up for yourself and throwing back a bigger rock at your opponent. But I say, why wait for someone to cast a stone? Why not just chuck a big rock at your problems straight  off the bat?

Let me example-ize for you. Supposing you're a guy, 22 years old who's been working a few years and is afraid he's already past it. The boss has only given a small pay rise, the corner cafe has stopped serving those delicious lattes you used to treat yourself to every half hour, Shelby have brought out a new model which makes yours now obsolete and looking like something from the "wacky races", and with the 401k situation looking more and more direr and direr by the year, your retirement years are looking pretty bleak.
But stop, wait! Throw a rock at it - now I'm not just talkin' any old run-of-the-mill housebrick, that'd be too easy; I want you to find the biggest rock in the yard that you can possibly pick up, and just pitch it there and then at your problems. You'll find it immensely empowering how they seem to melt right away, a feeling of serenity will descend on you for the rest of your life and noone will think you're a lunatic.

Then carry that rock round with you in your pocket to remind you of everything that you have to express aggression towards, and pull it out of your pocket at regular intervals in case you forget again.

Walt.

Have a Bath of Woodlice

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Millionaire Whilst On The Toilet.

Hey there, it's Walt with a message which I know is going to set 2010 quite literally on fire for you!
If you bathed in a bath of of crawling, seething woodlice for dinner, properly washing all the necessary areas with a great handful of the varmints, I'd bet that, unless you live in Korea, it would be the worst thing that you'd experience that week, most likely.
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it! Apart from making a change from radox, think how you would empower yourself afterwards, knowing that you'd conquered one of mankind's primeval fears, namely that of small things that move too quickly for their own good.
You'd definitely see a massive improvement. I know I did. In fact since I first bathed in woodlice when I was a young man in the US Army in Northern France in 1918, I've made it  a weekly practice. There's simply nothing like it for energizing you, and work colleauges and family will really notice a change in you.  You can even vary it by adding centipedes
So go do it - have a bath of woodlice!

Axe and Thou Shalt Receive

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Millionaire Whilst On The Toilet.

I just had to tell you about something interesting that happened to me the other day. I was waiting in transit at the Hatfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta, when I noticed an elderly black gentleman sitting next to me reading a book. He was about my age, and I was just reflecting on how little we had in common, when he turned to me and said "you know, you want something real bad, all you godda do is axe. Axe and thou shalt receive".

This was undoubtedly the greatest meeting of minds in human history and the best piece of advice received by anyone ever, and naturally it just had to be yours truly Walt Gleeson. It's true. All you have to do is indeed ask and you will definitely receive everything you ask for. OK, God works in mysterious ways, and it may not be in exactly the way you anticipated. For example, you might ask for a Ferrari 355 in yellow and in fact receive a 355 page long yellowing copy of a biography of Lolo Ferrari, but that's just as good surely, so quit complaining.

It struck me just how far the negro has come since the bad old days of segregated buses, ad hoc lynchings and "no taxation without representation", I'm so glad that white people sorted out all the mess for them and we can all sleep easier now.

I realised that this message was sent to me for a reason, and that this man was, in a very real sense, working through me to reach my wider audience in some kind of synergy of binary-creative outputting with divine concretization.

I later beat a hasty retreat when I discovered he was a muslim.

Yo! Aksk!

Walt

On Travelling And Returning Home

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Millionaire Whilst On The Toilet.
Hey, it's Walt here again. I'm typing this on my  gooseberry device, because I can do that.
I'm at O'Hare International Airport (executive lounge) en route to hold a 'crush your opposition to dust and then piss on the dust' seminar in Solihull, England. I look forward to going to the old country, it's always a pleasure to see the little antique churches and police-bobbies (they don't carry guns, how quaint is that?!), go for a cold beer and traditional English pretzels in one of the 'pubs', and take tea with Queen Elizabeth and King Phillip.
I was reminded whilst I was sitting in the executive cafe sipping on a Starbucks, of the lesson that Buddha , an important spitirual leader who lived over a hundred years ago, taught us. He said that, and this took the form of one of his 'cones', that you shouldn't speak unless you have something interesting to say....and I happen to think he was right on that score, maybe not in everything else he said (eg giving up worldly possessions and becoming a renunciant loser). I had to chuckle - you know, I ALWAYS have something interesting to say, so I'm fortunate in that regard, something I remembered as the waitress I just attempted to engage in conversation made light work of clearing my table and disappearing.
Oh well, which of us is on the minimum wage?!

I can see my plane is sitting there like a giant bird made of metal, ready for me to board through the first class entry, and I remember just how far I've come since I was a high school flunkout working part time in the bicycle store in Disney, Idabama. And you can too! IF you're prepared to follow exactly what I say and not dare to question any of it (if you fail to follow all of my steps you'll have no children and die by drowning). So I'm very happy to be able to spread the messgae to the other side of the pond, if I can understand their murdering of the English language in the (pre-selected) Q&A session after the seminar, as they've been in the dark for so long (quite literally, I think some areas of that little country only started getting a regular electricity supply a few years ago).
But however great these trips are, it's always even greater to come back to the US and remind myself how wonderful it is to be American and normal. Have a killer of a day.
Walt.

Don't Think Too Much, Or At All

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Millionaire Whilst On The Toilet.

Hi, it's Walt here again, with a few thoughts for the day...How come people say 'meteoric rise', when meteors go downwards, through the earth's atmosphere? Where did all the gruntled or ruthful people go? Why can't I have dain for something? Where is Old Zealand?
Well, if you're gonna spend time thinking about these things you're not gonna get rich and successful, like me. Thinking is a useful skill, I know I do it from time to time. But sometimes it's better just to act without thinking about something, and just see what happens. It's bound to be something good. When you get an idea or an urge, remember the adidas slogan - 'just do it now, you prick', whether it's making an impulse purchase, crossing the street or firing someboday. Just do it now, you prick.
Here's hoping you won't be thinking too much today, it's for losers who become perpetual students and earn less in a year than I spend on lattes with cinnamon to go.
Walt.

Quintuple Your Income in 90 Seconds - the new book/MP3/CD thing from Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning four decades he has enthralled readers with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Millionaire Whilst On The Toilet.
Hey, it's Walt here with a Special message for YOU...
How would you like to be able to quintuple your income in 90 seconds?!? Yes, it's true, you can really do it (provided you cough up $19.99* to my coffers beforehand.
Quintuple Your Income in 90 Seconds RRP was $250,000,000 in the shops, but hey, I've been so generous I've SLASHED it to $19.99*, YES, that's a 1250625312% reduction, or so my PA tells me.
IN ADDITION to this I'm giving away three spots at forthcoming seminars of mine, ABSOLUTELY FREE! Yes that's right, the seminars take place at 3am on consecutive Sundays starting from this Sunday, 1 November, with 'Take a Pay Rise and Tell The Economy to Take a Hike', and 'Have ALL Your Cake and Not Eat It' the following Sunday, with 'TBC' (that means 'To Be Confirmed') the following two weeks. Book now to avoid early disappointment, I'm sure there are going to be literally billions of people already signed up for a piece of me.
So, I'll leave you with this final thought for the day from The Dead Sea Scrolls in the Boardroom, another excellent publication of mine: 'you'd waste far less time in procrastinating if you only knew how much time you could save by keeping things short and sweet and simply not putting things of and/or talking about doing something instead of actually doing it.'
Yours Ever
Walt.

I Gotta Tell You About A Great New Product! (Of Mine,That I Need To Sell)

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning four decades he has enthralled readers with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Millionaire Whilst On The Toilet.
Hi, Walt here and thanks for reading my post. Just a short email to let you know about a new product I know you're gonna love. It's a bad quality recording of a seminar I gave in Wilmington, Minnihaha, when I was half cut on the free wine that was provided beforehand. For just $9.99* you can have this in CD or some other format. The recording contains some revolutionary new information and tells you to:
- get up earlier in the morning if you need more time.
- go to work, if you want to get ahead.
-go to sleep at night.
-eat food and drink drinks.
-not go to work drunk or badly hungover.
Oh, and that's not all, I'll throw in an extra special free gift, just because I'm so nice: a link to my friend Dirk Vileslayer's 'special people's club' forum. With just 2 members so far, it sure is special and an excellent way to network and meet a lot of like minded individuals. I think Dirk's plugging my new recording too.
Bye for now!
W.
* per day, plus sales tax.

...Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning four decades he has enthralled readers with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Millionaire Whilst On The Toilet. Look forward to Walt's weekly contribution to the puumaja crew's already rather shabby line-up.

How To Raise The Bar Without It Falling On Your Head

When the Puumaja Crew invited me to be a regular contributor to their site, I thought, well, thanks very much.
But then I remembered, I can't write! I'm just a down home, simple country boy from the East Dakota Highlands; I flunked out of high school with not one qualification to my name, and yet I've managed to build up a huge, multi-national business empire despite being wholly illiterate.
Fortunately my financial abundance enables me to employ a PA, Ilone. She's one of the best in her field, and I can dictate my musings to her any speed I like and she'll never fail to capture the essence of my genius, helping you to help yourself. And others. But mostly yourself.
One of the barriers to being successful is an inability to use people. People are all there for your use; we call it leveraging. Anyone and everyone you meet is superior in some way or other, to you, and you should leverage them to your own benefit. For example, not only is Ilona a superior PA, she can also find her own arse with her hands, and as a result I leverage her hands to find my arse for me too.
Maybe the mailman knows more about football than you do; pump him for questions. What's the winningest team at the moment? What's Favres attempts/completions ratio this season? Then dispose of him; there's nothing worse than time wasters. These people will suck you dry like a big sucking thing - avoid at all costs.
If you're gonna get ahead, and believe me, you WILL get ahead, provided you do everything I say to the letter (if you don't you'll freeze to death and be buried in an unmarked, mass grave) you've simply gotta pay attention to a few basic principles. We'll reveal these principles one at a time so you keep coming back.
We're gonna be something a whole lot more meaningful than just friends in the coming weeks and months (anyway all my friends are real big shots with huge companies and the like) – we're gonna have a saviour and disciple set up, except with a happier ending.