A Very English Cliché

I really hate those 'a brit in Provence/Spain/Italy etc' books. There's something so objectionable about the self-important way the writers try to show how they've suddenly become the world's leading authority on where they've moved to within days of moving there despite knowing about three to five words in the language, how they've become something of a self-appointed celebrity, how, guffaw guffaw, it's a far cry from Surrey or somewhere, how the locals have the audacity not to speak fluent English etc.

I wonder how a 'Romanian in England' book would go down, in which the funny looking locals were satirised and general language misunderstanding laughs flowed like warm eggy beer. Probably not very well.

Anyway, so, here they are, my blog posts about being an Englishman in Estonia! Something to look backward to already...

Ineffective Fires..

It's Friday again (I think, it has far less meaning than when I used to work 9-5). There are a couple of guys on a hydraulic platform thing, which is blocking the entrance to the driveway. Luckily I didn't need to go anywhere in the car.
I think they're cleaning leaves from the gutters; they're doing something connected with the roof anyway. One of the guys just went past the bathroom window on the platform.
The wood finally arrived yesterday, 44 bags of it which I had to shift into the cellar. It's valge lepp, apparently, which translates as 'white alder'. It burns ferociously once it gets going. I'm now thinking we're gonna run out far earlier than the end of winter and will need to get some more. The fire's everything I'd expected it to be, smells divine, but I don't know if we're not doing something wrong, they (the previous oweners) said the fire would need lighting twice a week and the heat from that would be enough to be retained for a few days. But we lit it yesteday and it's almost cold already. My flatmate's room is a converted extension above the back entrance and with a flat roof above. In other words he doesn't get the benefit of the warmth from the adjacent flats, but the heat from the fire didn't seem to radiate as much as hoped which should have kept his room warm.
It's only mid-October so this is nothing compared with what it can be in Estonia in the winter, but this clearly needs to be sorted so I don't find him frozen like a statue one morning, pencil stub in hand halfway through scrawling a final message to the public.
I'll ask the neighbours, they seem to know about all these things, unlike the idiot western Europeans in flat 3. It might be something relatively simple (like this post!).

Sethie Godiney

This is a regular blog post dedicated to blogging the blogs of one of the most successful bloggers in the blogsphere.
Sethie Godiney is the diminutive sidekick to Seth Godin, an internet marketing guru, by my own unimaginative and lazy summation.
I'm never quite sure how his last name is pronounced (or even his first – Vikram Seth springs to mind, and the sneers that you will evoke from the Islington / mocha / tapas set for mispronouncing HIS last name, revealing yourself to the congnoscenti as someone who probably thinks Gabriel García Márquez plays for Liverpool, is enough to push this writer to the cautious side of the street). Is it spelt as it's written? GOD – in? Or is the second syllable given a French value, qw in waiting for Godin? Or even Go-DINE? I don't know.
Anyway Seth is well worth following (seriously).
It doesn't matter if you know naff all about marketing and / or don't work in that field, there's genuine truths in his posts to be had by all.
Alternatively you can follow lil' Sethie Godiney's posts, which merely paraphrase the daily Seth posts, which you can use as a sampler of the real thing (and hopefully visit his blog. Not that he needs any more followers, especially not the likes of you and me). Starts today, whenever I get the next post from SG!

Seth's Blog - Leave School Now...

Today Seth said that working for some companies was a bit like high school, in that there could be the same distractions (gossip, rivalries and the like) inhibiting one's development. He then applied the same analogy to the fashion magazine industry and the internet.
I work for myself so I don't know where that leaves me! Maybe the truant? Or the kid from the weird religious sect whose parents teach them at home, so as not to be exposed to heinous teachings on human procreation or evolution? Anyway I'm glad to be out.
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/10/the-rule-of-high-school.html
Sethie.

...Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning four decades he has enthralled readers with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Millionaire Whilst On The Toilet. Look forward to Walt's weekly contribution to the puumaja crew's already rather shabby line-up.

How To Raise The Bar Without It Falling On Your Head

When the Puumaja Crew invited me to be a regular contributor to their site, I thought, well, thanks very much.
But then I remembered, I can't write! I'm just a down home, simple country boy from the East Dakota Highlands; I flunked out of high school with not one qualification to my name, and yet I've managed to build up a huge, multi-national business empire despite being wholly illiterate.
Fortunately my financial abundance enables me to employ a PA, Ilone. She's one of the best in her field, and I can dictate my musings to her any speed I like and she'll never fail to capture the essence of my genius, helping you to help yourself. And others. But mostly yourself.
One of the barriers to being successful is an inability to use people. People are all there for your use; we call it leveraging. Anyone and everyone you meet is superior in some way or other, to you, and you should leverage them to your own benefit. For example, not only is Ilona a superior PA, she can also find her own arse with her hands, and as a result I leverage her hands to find my arse for me too.
Maybe the mailman knows more about football than you do; pump him for questions. What's the winningest team at the moment? What's Favres attempts/completions ratio this season? Then dispose of him; there's nothing worse than time wasters. These people will suck you dry like a big sucking thing - avoid at all costs.
If you're gonna get ahead, and believe me, you WILL get ahead, provided you do everything I say to the letter (if you don't you'll freeze to death and be buried in an unmarked, mass grave) you've simply gotta pay attention to a few basic principles. We'll reveal these principles one at a time so you keep coming back.
We're gonna be something a whole lot more meaningful than just friends in the coming weeks and months (anyway all my friends are real big shots with huge companies and the like) – we're gonna have a saviour and disciple set up, except with a happier ending.