Where Should You Buy Property In Tallinn, Estonia?

Here is some advice on where to buy in Tallinn, Estonia  - i I were thinking of buying in Tallinn (I already have)...



City Centre and Old Town

First, the Old Town (see map 2 below) will continue to hold its value. It is a UNESCO world heritage site, hugely popular with tourists, well supplied with a variety of good quality restaurants, cafes, bars, craft shops, high end clothes shops and other amenities, and is close to the harbour not to mention the seat of Governmental power. What’s more people actually live and work there.

The ‘Kesklinn’ (City Centre, also called the ‘Südalinn’) similarly will retain its prominence and, whilst prices took a greater bashing here during the 2008-2010 slump than in the Old Town, is of key significance, containing as it does not only Tallinn’s Central Business District, but more entertainment outlets, foreign embassies and a large number of residents.

Add to that the district of Kadriorg, to the east of the Kesklinn, with its leafy, evocative streets, fine old housing, and the Palace built for Catherine the Great, not to mention the President’s residence, and you already have a large, contiguous area of desirable housing with strong rental potential. In fact, the three areas noted above come under the one administrative area as far south as the Ülemiste Järv (see map 2) which is the Tallinn city lake, and cover 28 square kilometres in total.

But these areas have already arrived, so to speak. Whilst developments in the Kesklinn in particular look set to continue, such as the new Finance Ministry at Suur Ameerika, and there is plenty of scope for refurbishment work in all areas, it seems unlikely that there is to be any radical transformation here. That process has already happened, stretching back the 20 years since Estonia’s independence.


Emerging Districts

Now to the districts of Tallinn showing promising signs for investors. Again, these are largely adjacent to one another and can thus be treated as a single entity for our purposes. Essentially they comprise the ‘Sadam’ harbour area (see map 1 below) stretching westward along the waterfront along the ‘Culture Kilometre’ (a popular cycling and jogging route) to Kalamaja. This stretch is set for a lot of exciting development in the coming years, both residential (that process has already started with the quality new housing in the Jahu and Suur-/Väike-Paterei streets) and commercial. One recent development which has already happened is the newly refurbished Seaplane Harbour, which includes dry docks, Seaplane Hangars dating back to the late Tsarist time which hold a museum, and vessels of historical interest.

Kalamaja itself is similarly already experiencing a renaissance. It largely comprises character wooden houses, mostly around a century old but here have been some tasteful new builds constructed along the same lines, as well as new, more modern builds. The Kalamaja effect is spreading southwards to neighbouring Pelgulinn (where I live), which has similar housing stock and is quiet and family friendly, yet still a stone’s throw from the Old Town, eventually dovetailing into the borders of the more-established Kristiine suburb. The Kassisaba district (close to the British embassy) has seen construction and refurbishment activity aplenty recently as well (e.g. at Adamsoni 33).

Returning to Kalamaja, the border that separates it from Pelgulinn, demarcated by the goods rail line to Kopli, host what is really the hub of this new revival – the so called bohemian quarter. This comprises three of the hippest restaurants in town, Kukeke, run by the same people who are behind the successful Komeet restaurant in the Solaris centre, F-Hoone (literally ‘building F’) which are both in former light industrial buildings, and the more established Boheem cafe close to the station.

Other good quality refreshment outlets abound, and we have to mention the nearby Asian Cafe  on Kopli 4c close to the central train station, which offers tasty Indian, Chinese and Thai-style food for those in a hurry and at good prices.

Moreover this area is set to be the new alternative theatreland, with a theatre accomodating a good couple of hundred seats slated for construction next year.

Lastly, this effect may well spread Northwards throughout the Kopli peninsular (see map 1) over the longer term. The Kopli peninsular, once the site of aristocratic hunting forests, today displays very mixed use, with various commercial docks including the Bekker port, the HQ of BLRT, a shipbuilding company, plenty of old wooden workers cottages, office space, parkland and the magnificent Estonian Maritime Academy building. Beyond this at the tip of the peninsular lies the Paljassaare nature reserve, which is excellent for birdwatching and its natural environment in general, all year round.

Rough per square metre price of districts

As regards prices, please note that in Estonia prices are often cited in terms of Euros per Square metre (and before 2011, Kroons per Square metre). There are pluses and minuses to this system. One advantage is obviously getting a quick idea of whether or not a property is overpriced or not by comparing its per Square metre price with that of the average for that area. On the other hand sometimes it ends up comparing apples with oranges - a large family home is intrisically different from a studio flat wihch in turn is quite different from office space (the prices below reflect only residential - obviously most office space in Tallinn will be rented anyway).

Moreover the condition in which apartments are in varies hugely, although Estonians will tend to put a huge hike on asking prices (estate agents here still tend to let the buyer set their own price, which is daft) if a property has been remonted, so you have been warned.

 A rough breakdown for average buying prices of the districts mentioned is as follows (at the time of writing):

Old Town: 2 000 – 3 000 Euros/Square metre.
Kesklinn (excluding Old Town), Kadriorg: 1 800 Euros/Square metre.
Kristiine: 1 300 Euros/Square metre.
Kalamaja, Pelgulinn: 1 100 Euros/Square metre.
Kopli: 800 Euros/Square metre.


As a rule of thumb, rentals will be at least 10 Euros/Square metre in the Old Town (and somewhat more than that for well-appointed properties) falling to around 6 or 7 Euros/Square metre further from the centre. Don't pay significantly more than this for a rental property, although at the time of writing it was not a renters market since there is a great shortage of rental properties (the flipside is there's a glut of properties for sale so it is a buyers market in that sense).

Hope this was interesting and useful, give me your feedback!



Maps (click to enlarge).


Map 1: Area to Northwest of Central  Tallinn,
including Kalamaja and Kopli peninsular.





Map 2: Old Town (Vanalinn), City Centre,
Pelgulinn and Kristiine (Lillekülla).






Map 3: Tallinn City.

Drink Bar Comedy Nights In Tallinn Are Back

The Drink Bar comedy nights organised by Comedy Estonia kicked off again last night after the summer break.

And in some style, there was a really strong lineup, hosted by the unstoppable Louis including plenty of regulars- a lot of people had evidently spent the summer polishing their joke [sic], so there were plenty of laughs ringing in my ears.

I was hesitant about going when I saw that there were 154 listed on Facebook as 'going' and a similar number as 'maybe', but it wasn't quite Hillsborough, though getting that way. Hats off to the bar staff anyway.

Glad I went, it's an excellent place to meet up with regular CE fans, would-be comics from the open mic circuit, newbies (the friend I brought along was impressed) tourists and the mandatory sprinkling of hotties to gaze longingly at from the other side of the bar.

Ben Richards was a personal favourite of mine (as a comic I mean, not a hottie), I like to think he's kind of like a funny version of me, and his 'but sir..' comeback to a heckler (you needed to have been there) caused me to spit Drink Baar Tume on somebody's back.

The headliner, Jacques Barrett, to use the parlance of the young people today, kicked ass, with a truly original slant on being from Australia (there were three Aussies on the bill in total which seems like overkill but in fact was not) and his reflections on living in the UK reminded me of why I am here.

Regular CE people Stewart, Janika and Corey all had great sets - it seems that the large, paying crowd seems to raise their games, it may have been my imagination, but everyone seemed to be even stronger than the open mic nights (where punters don't have to pay of course).

Sander did a set in Estonian so I didn't catch everything but it was consistently funny so far as the Estonian speakers were concerned.

Louis and Janika of Comedy Estonia need to work on their Scottish accents a bit though, they sounded more like South Wales or Birmingham, via the Transvaal, although it set up a brilliant comeback from Janika (referring to Louis' intro) which for me was one of the killer gags of the night.

Unfortunately there were some English dickheads in the crowd, not just me (I'm half Scottish though) but also a large group - moving the night to Thursday means there are likely to be more of these as Thurs eve is often the first night of the largely unwelcome (though the DB seems to encourage it) stag parties - yes they're still coming over. Fortunately this group left in a large conga-line at the end, and were waved off by all twenty thousand people in there, much to their chagrin I think.

There was also a drunk, bullnecked Russian guy who kept yelling out 'ja neponjal' at inconvenient times during Jacques' set, although the latter didn't hear him and in any case I don't know how heckler squelchers work when neither person speaks the other's language (assuming Jacques doesn't speak Russian).

Things seem to be going from strength to, er, strength with the CE crowd - the latest item I read is that not only do they have Steve Hughes and Glenn Wool coming for a show later in the month at the large Kino Sõprus venue (I assume they've sacked off Club Prive) along with the return of Dylan Moran a few days later, but there's also gonna be a regular slot on Estonian Radio 2 with interviews and the like. I suppose next I'm gonna read they've been selected to go into space or something.

If you're in Tallinn, check 'em out!

Chinwag Tuesday

A nice podcast illustrating how ex-pat comedy in European countries should be, from the Tuesday Chinwag, three English guys who've all done standup and who meet either once a week or once a month at a cafe in Stockholm, Sweden, in front of a live audience.

Think Skinner and Baddiel meet something else that's been on Radio 4 in the cafe off that sitcom, but it's probably way better than that.

Great window on the west to listen to from behind the iron curtain here in Tallinn.

They're on Facebook too.

It's A Hard Job...Estonian Tax Authority Swoops On Strip Clubs

According to a relatively recent report by Steve Roman , on the Estonian Public Broadcaster's (ERR - which has nothing to do with the Estonian state) English language site, well, over a month ago actually, the Estonian tax authority had a little crack down on people illegally working in lap dancing clubs and the like.

A job which we might all wish to volunteer for if the EMTA's resources are strained, no doubt, but the story itself is pretty comical (q.v.).

Apparently when asked why they were working without a permit, some of the girls denied that fact and said they were visiting (their bosses were in hiding in some back room). The obvious question, since the girl or girls was wearing something which you could barely strain tea with, was why they were dressed so immodestly even for Tallinn in the summer, if they weren't working at the aforementioned establishment..."because it's hot" came, in all seriousness, the reply.

This is high comedy not least because it's true (normally I'd argue that made up stuff is far funnier than reality, as indeed it is, but you have to know Tallinn really); the quote from the management as to why they were running away through back doors comes a good second in the pricelessness stakes - "we need to familiarise employees with fire escape routes". Indeed. Well, it was hot, as they'd said, a fire would explain why.

It didn't end there, another girl remained locked in a toilet cubical for some time, during which repeated flushings were heard (presumably loads and loads of tablets to be dispensed with). Upon ultimately emerging, we can only speculate as to her excuse - maybe diarrea?...I mean yeah, I've got the unpredictable shits, so what better course to take than don skimpy white undies and go and wiggle my ass in someone's face, nothing could go wrong. Still, some people like that type of thing.

As noted the PMC would like to volunteer to help the overstrained tax authorities in any future surveillance in this sector of the entertainments industry, provided the latter promise that any tips we leave are tax deductible - particularly as slipping them discreetly down somebody's thong might be followed by withdrawing a shit-covered hand..

Skype Is An Estonian Company, Y'all

Me: (on calling a cable TV phone in show based in the US) "Yes, I'm calling from Estonia".
Host: "Oh so this call is costing you a lot?"
Me: "No it's no problem, I'm calling on Skype".
Host: "Oh, do they have Skype in Estonia?"
Me: "Sigh..".

Economic Problems Helping or Hindering Obama?

One man's (Peter Schiff) view of Obama on the economy; 69 000 new jobs in a country the size of the US seems pitiful regardless of one's stance...

Still Very Broken...Seth's Blog

For me and my more spartan lifestyle, the most frustrating design I can think of at the moment is that of the Mynthon mint sweets/breath fresheners. A smoker's must-have, naturally you are not going to eat an entire packet in one go, so the box contains a lid which is supposed to click shut. However being made of flimsy cardboard and in general badly designed, it's only a matter of time before a mint explosion goes off in your pocket, leaving the shrapnel of more or less all of the mints, coated in dust and bits of crap that lurk in the pockets of even the most particular of folks, and thus inedible (washing in water just has the effect of reducing them in size, then sticking together in on glutinous morass once dried)...

...but any way I'll be avoiding a Subaru for the time being.

Open Mic Tips

If we were to ever attempt an open mic spot, such as the one that took place at NoKu, on Pikk 5 in Tallinn, Estonia last saturday, we'd give the following pieces of advice:

1) Prepare, but don't over-prepare. Especially a precisely worded script is unnecessary. I mean run through it in your mind and out loud, and have the ideas jotted down on a piece of paper, safely esconced in your pocket just in case, but don't get hung up on a script. You can't possibly remember every single word or if you did you run the risk of becoming too mechanical.
2) Related to 1) use an economy of words, i.e. cut out all unnecessary pointers, asides, reiterations etc.
3) Related to 1) and 2) try to cut out the 'ums' and 'ers' or you run the risk of sounding like Andrus Ansip speaking English. Which isn't a good thing. Pauses and even quite long silences are preferable to this and there are some comics who make an art of this.
4) Face the audience square on. Don't focus on one part of the audience, or the other comics, or still worse, don't turn your back on an audience.
5) Don't overindulge in alcohol before, however shitting it you are. You'll just slow down even more, and run the risk of forgetting things.
6) Ad libbing can sometimes work.
7) Listen to and watch the other comics, both experience and novice. You can learn something from all of them.
8) Don't be afraid to be yourself or try something off-the-wall, especially if the two things coincide.
9) Have a good time. It's a free open mic night, it's not the London Palladium for fuck's sake.
10) Expect to be shit on your first outing (or second or third or fourth). One of our staff once worked with a guy who did standup in London for a long time; he said there was one comic on the scene who was shit. His name was Harry Hill.

So, if we ever give it a try, we'll be sure to re-visit this post..

One of our staff had a strange experience the other week. He teaches English at a private language school in Tallinn and, as a way of facilitating written homework had given his gmail addy to the group early on in the course, in January. OK so far but he hadn't counted on getting an email from one of the students professing her undying affection for him and the fact that she'd seen him in a dream..twice.

Great, you might think, but not really. We're into unrequited territory here- well it's definitely unrequited on the PMC's part. It's that old truism which nevertheless happens to be true - why can't it be the fit ones that send you these messages?!

Nonetheless there is nothing worse than unrequited affections - take the worst method of execution, hanging drawing and quartering or whatever it may be, and that's no where near as bad as unrequited love, at least the execution has the release of death at the end of it! We know this from having been on the other side of the fence, but it's also true that the recipient can feel bad too, with feelings of guilt and anxiety.

So, lesson learned, don't give out email addresses to students so readily or if doing so

Comedy Estonia Gets Izzard Seal Of Approval

Following from the previous post on the upcoming Dylan Moran gig in Tallinn (tickets to which are almost certainly sold out, even with an extra date slotted in, though I've got mine!), there has been an endorsement on on less a Facebook page than Eddie Izzard's. It's a compliment with a sting in the tail though - he's congratulating Dylan for being the 'first English speaking comic to play Tallinn'; evidently Louis Zezeran, Stewart Johnson, Keiu Kriit, Andrei Tuch and other Estonians who deliver their act in the most amazing English do not count!

Nonetheless all publicity is good publicity, I can recommend a good English teacher for the regular Comedy Estonia troupe in the meantime..

Tallinn The New Comedy Centre Of The Baltics..

If we were to twattishly refer to somewhere as being a-buzz with excitement, then that is how we would describer Tallinn right now. Or more precisely, the Tallinn comedy scene. But we don't. Nonetheless it's true.

I don't hear you asking why but if you're still reading and want to know the reason, then all will be made clear a line or two from now.

On April 11th, which is a Wednesday this year, Dylan Moran comes to Tallinn to do a gig. Yes, the same Dylan who was in Black Books and Shaun of the Dead (we only really know him from 'Notting Hill' to be honest).

Here is another clip of him in action, or on stage anyway.

Something of a coup de grace, or a coup d'etat or something like that, for the consistently cool Comedy Estonia, a group of comics, evidently, which has gone in two year from, well, being founded to having a major comedy star frm Ireland coming over specially to make us laugh. Well done people!

Added reason for the urgency of this post is that tickets got snapped up like warmed-through cakes; within hours all the tickets on the lower floor (at the Russian Cultural Centre in Tallinn) had gone at 25 Euros and so you need to be bright eyed and all the rest of it on Monday morning, if you're in Tallinn and actually want to come that is, when the balcony tickets go on (according to comedy Estonia). I know I will be. Bet they wish they'd upped the price a bit - I hope the fuckers don't read this as I wouldn't put it past them to do that!

Seth's Blog - Ignorance Is No Longer Simply Not An Excuse, It's A Disgrace..

I'm so glad we live in these times...there's no excuse not to know shit nowadays - not for any of us - and that's great when one thinks that a few centuries ago the bulk of the people in Europe were illiterate.

This post by Seth Godin explains with a bit more panache...

Zelyenu Vulitsyoo Hooligans

This is a funny story about the Ukrainians using four MiG 29 jets and some "helicopter gunships" (meaning the legndary Mil Mi-24 'hind') as "crowd control" in the impending European football championships.

Talk about nuts and sledgehammers, although it could be worse - at least they're not using the SU-27 with its tendency to crash at airshows and cartwheel into spectators.

Of course two of the four groups in the comp will play their group games in the Ukraine (as oposed to Poland), including, uh-oh, England who will play at Donetsk and Kiev.

Fortunately it seems unlikely that England will get through the group games, so the Ukrainian air force will only have a limited amount of time to get their shots on target, but most likely more shots on target than England will get. That said, the idea of a load of porcine English football fans being scattered by the raking fire of a MiG 29 and its 30 mm nose cannon would make for a memorabe image nonetheless.

Others Are Not Worth The Bother.. Or Are They..

Wise words taken from 'A Guide to Rational Living' by the masters of frequently-added emphasis, Ellis and Harper, (1961) 3rd ed. pp 79.81:

This are much more complicated, of course, if you unduly care about what other members of the group think of you. For if you feel overconcerned about their approval, you will lean over backward to do what they want you to do, instead of what you want to do for yourself. Then you will tend to hate yourself for acting weakly and hate them for seeing your weakness. Or else you will do what you mainly want to do - and then worry whether they still like you for doing it.

Your overly caring for the approval of others is neurotic. But even without neurosis, your discriminating between what you would like to do and what you'd better do in group situations is difficult and often discouraging. For you want what you desire. And you also want others to feel comfortable and to approve of you - quite apart from any neurotic needs for approval that you may have. You may therefore constantly feel torn, and cannot completely resolve the conflict.

In a more complicated kind of group relationship, things get even hotter. Thus, in a highly competitive group - such as a school where pupils try to get into favourite colleges, or in a business office where employees compete with each other to make higher commissions or salaries - you will find it harder to do what you want to do for your own sake and also to gain and keep the favour of others.

In almost any social group, therefore, you will find it tough sledding to keep a sane, somewhat middle-of-the-road course and to avoid surrendering your personal tastes and preferences - while not antagonizing other group members. You cannot fully calculate in advance your most 'reasonable' actions, and you will shift with changing conditions. Thus, when you first enter a group, you may best keep your mouth shut and let the other members have their say. Later, you may try to get in your own two cents' worth, even though those who previously spoke up would love to continue holding the floor. Finally, you may give others a chance to talk more again. But you may never precisely determine in advance when and where to draw the line between your own active participation and your polite acceptance of others' discussion, since this depends on many different factors.

You may well acknowledge, then, the desirability of both self-expression and social accpetance. But while some form of hedonism, pleasure-seeking or enlightened self-interest seems a good plan of personal living, enlightened self-interest includes some degree of social interest as well. For if you only strive for your "own" good, and run roughshod over others, you will find that many people over whom you keep riding sooner or later thwart your "own" good. Therefore, to some extent you'd better include the good of others in your view of your own good.

Similiarly, if you mainly concentrate on striving for your immediate good, you will almost inevitably sabotage your potential future enjoyments. "Live for today, for tomorrow you may die" seems a perfectly sane philosophy-if you have a good chance of dying tomorrow. Most of the time, however, you live to the ripe old age of eighty or more these days; and your tomorrows will probably be miserable if you live only for today. At the same time, if you only live for tomorrow, you will tend to live your todays overcautiously and dully. Again, you will in the long run defeat your own ends.

End Of e-Stonia?

A very significant article was posted yesterday on the wesbsite of ERR, the Estoinan state broadcaster, or the Estonian BBC if you will, concerning the effects of US governmental encroachment on internet freedoms.

Many of us have followed to varying extents the developments in the progress of the US SOPA and PIPA proposed laws; indeed if you use Wikipedia at all regularly it would have been hard not to, but, just in case anyone didn't get the message that the ramifications of these acts are not confined to US soil, here are the ways in which it will affect Estonia, as seen by Otto de Voogd, a Dutch developer living in Tallinn.

It is particularly poignant given that one of Estonia's 'unusual selling points' is its internet freedom, high degree of connectivity, online governance etc. etc., much of which may now be under threat. In any case, even if you are not in Estonia the results of this phenomenon are likely to be the same.

Anyway I'll stop rambling and let the article speak for itself. It's at this address.

Thought for the Day..

A story I liked..

Diogenes was knee deep in a stream washing vegetables. Coming up to him, Plato said, "My good Diogenes, if you knew how to pay court to kings, you wouldn't have to wash vegetables."

"And," replied Diogenes, "If you knew how to wash vegetables, you wouldn't have to pay court to kings."

 ..courtesy of Edward Hugh's blog, check him out on Facebook if you want to keep up with the Euro saga (or better still, don't :-(   ).

New Year, New Post, Old Topic

First post for a very, very long time, and the first for 2012 - after all, those New Year's resolutions take a couple of days to come into effect - and I'm going to continue where I left off. The topic, if you can stand it, will be the same as before, polyphasic sleeping (another NY resolution evidently).

The last couple of posts on the topic from way back in the white nights of June when I was struggling with it even then are here and here, and an in depth explanation (from a very smart person who carried out the experiment successfully albeit in a more conducive environment than mine I would think) can be read here, but in the meantime I am embarking, crazily enough, on the Dymaxion schedule, supposedly the hardest one and supposedly followed by Buckminster Fuller, the inventor of Geodesics, which involves four naps of half an hour each, one every six hours.

Next week when the holiday is over I won't be able to do that anyway, and my schedule will necessitate a long stretch of more like nine hours in the afternoon/evening, but I may not make it that far anyway, let's see. Oh, and we'll call this day zero...