Slow Down and Speed Up at the Same Time - Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, Walt is the Puumaja Crew's personal realization and fulfilment coach, whatever that is. 

Hi, Walt here again. I've suddenly decided that you'll be immediately successful, if you'd only do this one thing that your uncle Walt asks of you. I'm sure some of you won't (in which case you'll have no children and die in bad ways) but if you do, you'll definitely be joining the likes of me at the high table in due course.

What you gotta do is you gotta slow down, stop rushing around everywhere like a jackass, and start doing each individual task as it comes to you.

Remember, we all have the same number of hours in the day, even the President of the United States (actually due to a quirk in the constitution the President actually gets 25 hours, but most Presidents have used this extra hours sleeping). 

So don't be pleased with yourself if you 'multi-task', there's no such thing, it's impossible to multi-task, just as you can't have multi-anything.

Having said that, you must, must, go much much faster than you already do.

You complete peasant, I've seen you, sneaking a three minute nap in front of the TV after arriving home from a ten hour stint at work, or using the time that you five children are eating to quickly read the newspaper - loser! I personally don't have any children, but that actually makes me more qualified to lecture others that do, 'cos I can objectivitize and appraisalize the situation mroe easily.


So speed up, god damn you, make sure every task takes no more than two minutes maximum, and if you find yourself over-running this, I've found that hitting a metal tray over your head helps; you can buy one inexpensively at the corner store if you're reverting to your innate peasant tendency to look at everything in terms of how much it costs.

I hope this has clarified what you need to do if you don't want to end up a total loser on welfare in the ghetto, so start doing it immediately!

Walt