Walt Gleeson's Ovular Analysis for the Day

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Aaron... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. With a career spanning over half a decade, he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, 

Hi, this is Walt...you know, and old British commercial advised people to 'go to work on an egg', a very clever play on words worthy of Shakespeare, Joyce or even Richard Stillgoe, and it had me thinking about eggs...stay with this for a minute because it's brilliant, or so my PA told me when I was thinking it up last night in the hotel bar. After all, we all eat eggs, don't we? There's noone in the world who doesn't- you'd die if you didn't eat eggs.

Think of all the ways you can cook an egg; you can boil it, fry it, poach it, scramble it; you can put it into an omeletter or even bake it. but has it ever occured to you that they way you cook an egg shows exactly what type of person you are, wholly accurately and reliably with no hyperbole, speculation or cod science thrown in? No, me neither.

For example, people who favour boiled eggs are usually dependable, cautious sturdy types but maybe a little unimaginative, while those who like fried eggs tend to be flashier, more of a risk taker. If you like poached eggs that definitely means you are turgid and unglamorous, rather than trying to be a bit healthier. Those who like to scramble their eggs are a bit too reckless, and making an omelette is just too complicated and involved. There is a more sophisticated variant, namely baked eggs. This is really for the international club sandwich set. Finally, you can also eat eggs raw, although this is only for real plebs.

If I were to analyse myself, I'd say I'd have to be whatever the best one is, probably a combination of fried, baked with a bit of boiled thrown in on the side. I suggest you do the same, and if it's not exactly the same as mine, I suggest you change your habits and follow my directive, or you're going to die, freezing in poverty in the dark.

Have a great day! - Walt