The Puumaja Isn't Haunted - Not Shock

After some months of living here I have no strange phenomena to report.
A few days after moving in, I wan't awoken by a strange cackling sound, experience some inexplicable changes in temperature or odd smells, nor did I find that furniture had been moved around in the night.
I was, it's true, disturbed by a crashing sound once but that was the cat knocking over a broom (again).
I'm not considering getting in a priest to battle drive away the non-existent evil spirits in latin, no doubt  getting a smack in the eye in the process.
No strange ectoplasm has issued forth from the taps, my child isn't disappearing up the chimney ( I don't have one anyway - as child I mean) and I think it highly unlikely that these happenings will reach some kind of crescendo, seeing me either fleeing in the middle of the night in the car, still wearing my pyjamas, vowing never to return, or them finding video footage a year later of my final night in the house.