Notes To Self - Advice On How To Teach English to Teens

• Avoid doing it altogether by refusing to teach younger learners.
• In the event of absolutely having to teach them, e.g. due to covering for someone, just bring the body.
• Don't try to be 'cool', tough or funny.
• They are not your equals (or inferiors) or your friends. They are just some foreign teenagers.
• Don't use the board a lot.
• Don't try overly hard to find some kind of crazy, exciting big task (it might fall flat on its arse and that's one, two, three hours of your life you'll never get back, for piss all money). Unless you're good at that type of thing of course. Not everyone is.
• Enjoy the process not the aim, you're not a UK governmental minister in the John Major era setting 'targets' for schools.
• Ignore the surly one.
• Definitely ignore the flirtatious one.
• Don't lecture.
• Don't worry about "disciplining" people, especially if you're just covering.
• Don't use hazy memories of your old teachers as a role model. A lot of them should have been in another job; there were a few diamonds in the rough but they were very special people indeed.
• Don't run through the book on a "by numbers" basis, ever. You can get away with that with adults sometimes, but not kids.
• Remember you were once a twat too.
• Just generally don't worry, especially if you're unlikely to see them again, other than in passing, in any case.
• Relax and enjoy yourself. Forget about it afterwards.

This may of course be crap advice and the author disclaims all responsibility (and still refuses to teach teens).