A Personal Message From Walt Gleeson

Canfield, Proctor, Nightingale, Zagler, Hill, Robbins, Tracy, Winfrey... step aside please..there's a new success guru in town! Walt Gleeson is a highly successful, internationally renowned author of motivational books and CDs and other products. Starting as a rust repairer on a sewage trawler in international waters, on one cent fifty per month, Walt soon rose to control the entire US fleet, and he never even graduated from High School. His career has spanned over half a decade, during which he has acted as advisor to such alumni as Richard Nixon, Oliver North and Mike Tyson, and he has enthralled readers all over the world, from Alaska to Florida and from Hawaii to Rhode Island, with such titles as You Can Do It!, You Can Do It! Too, Literally Make Your House Work For You, My Lai Was Just a Blip and Become a Billionaire Whilst On The Toilet, Walt is the Puumaja Crew's personal realization and fulfilment coach, whatever that is.

Dear [INSERT FIRST NAME HERE]

I have to confess I'm kinda confused. Last month I sent you an exclusive offer for my Deep Trance ™ product, at just USD 99.99* and for some reason known only to yourself you didn't take us up on it. 


I have to say I'm disappointed in you. Take a hold of yourself, you're either unpatriotic, lazy, a liberal, hispanic or all of the above. 


Now I'm gonna offer you this one more time, at the greatly reduced price of USD 48.99*...

...AND that's not all - I'm also giving you a free copy of a book that's just hot off the press and itching to be burnt already, which I co-wrote with my good friend Glenn Beck. It's called 'Get Up Offa The Floor, You Faggot' and it's really set to kick some butts.


The whole thing debunks the idea that it's not ok for guys to cry on cue when they're sandwiched between a stars and stripes and a camera (not when there's not - that's just faggotry) or that setting the middle east on fire is not the best thing for long term stability - why don't these people fuck off to Canada?


Since Glenn and I met at the exclusive Hazelden recovery clinic, after we'd decided to take action about the disease of addiction that both of us definitely have and need to join a heretical cult religion in order to surrender to a higher power (mine is the God of the scriptures, Glenn's is a little green man) rather than just simply quitting like anyone else, I realised that this was a man who really knew which way was up and how to get there, and more than that we were imbued with a divine right to harrass everyone else into conforming with us.


So, hurry now and claim your free gift of GUOTFYF as we already call it, together with the Deep Trance ™ CDs which we just know are gonna turn your life around just by the click of your fingers.'Cos that really is the way the Lord made us. If you're an American..

* per month plus postage in the US, to the world outside of the US, lick my sweaty ole scrotal sac.

Walt

Remembering The Kursk

We forgot to mark the tenth anniversary of the 'Kursk' disaster a couple of weeks back, but anyways, RIP.

Here is an intriguing documentary with a faintly plausbile alternative to the official explosion in the torpedo tube line (e.g. why did the sub go deeper after the initial explosion instead of surfacing, why were fighter planes scrambled etc).

Probably all of the evidence can be explained away, but if it was as the doc suggests (that it was the Americans all along!) then we averted World War Three once again about ten years ago!

Bring Back These Production Values

As a comment on this Youtube clip had it, "what happened to TV shows like this"? It's an excellent short little discussion program on Plato and Socrates that was evidently part of a series. The lights going out at the end with Mastermind type reprise on the trumpet, whilst host and guest continue their discussion, I suppose puts it around the early 80s.

Well, they stopped making them, that's what happened to them, although Professor Burnyeat and Mr. Magee, since they are both still breathing (another comment said Burnyeat "hadn't chanfed" [sic]), could always get together for a reunion show - we'd happily host it at the PMC

Thought For The Day No. 35 - With The Rabbi Anders Weiss

...psychologist, spiritual guru and arbiter of good taste..

She saw there ... the one who seduces another’s close-trusted wife.

Description of Náströnd (hell) in Völuspá, from the Old Norse Poetic Edda.

World News Roundup

...just in...


Portugal
The nightclub formerly called 'Scandals' has had a new makeover, and a new name! The club, now called 'Mr. Bigs's' [sic], located on the outskirts of Lisbon, now boasts two bars, three dancefloors and a new cloakroom. "It's like a whole new world" said spokesman and part-owner Juan Conceição. "'Scandals' doesn't exist any more!! Where the toilets used to be immediately on the left as you came in, now they're at the other end of the club!! And the wallpaper is different too."
Revellers are advised to arrive early for the opening night on Friday at eight pm sharp(ish) or better still to buy tickets available at the Lisbon Ticket Shop, on the High Street.
Associated Press.

Iceland
A car boot sale is to be held on the outskirts of Reykjavik on Saturday. Punters can expect some good deals - if our roving reporter's sneak preview of the Ásgrímsson family's boot sale was anything to go by. A veritable Aladdin's cave of booty was to be had, including a 'Now That's What I Call Music 4' double cassette pack, a space gun (broken), his n' hers matching dressing gown set (unopened) , some back issues of 'Murder Case File' including issues on Peter Sutcliffe and Harold Shipman, a Dambusters commemorative plate, and fragments of the original manuscript of the saga of burnt Njall.
Now if that's not something to whet your appetite we don't know what is.
Associated Press. 

Nepal
Prasad Kumar Dahal has joined the Limbo Computing ERP software copmany as its communications manager. The company, based in the outskirts of Kathmandu, recently expanded by acquiring accountancy solutions company Himalayan Software Inc.,.
Dahal, 47, who had previously been press officer at Microsoft Nepal, said "I am - delighted to have the opportunity to join the team. Limbo Computing has seen a strong consolidation in recent years and I am looking forward to contributing to its further growth in the future". Mr. Dahal replaces the former communications manager, Madhav Korali, who was enveloped by something last month.
Reuters.

Namibia
Back to school day, and long faces were much in evidence to day in the capital, Windhoek. Shops are already sold out of protractors and set squares and even those two holed pencil sharpeners with a bigger hole for a pencil of dimensions that noone has actually ever seen.
The local school bus fare has seen an increase too, to 40 Namibian Dollars per term, a move which local housewife and mum of three school aged kids Grenadine Kapere described as 'typical'.
CNN.

Poland
The Warsaw boys' football team beat rivals Krakow 2-0 on Sunday, to reach second place in Polish boys' league. The team, which trains every Saturday morning on the outskirts of Warsaw, recently enforced a 'sensible shoes only' policy at training and other team-related activities.
Team coach Jaroslaw Wolinski paid credit to his team of 8 year olds "the guys gave it all they've got, they didn't even need a talking to at halftime".
Although it's early on in the season, the team already have their sights focused on winning the league title: "but you have to be very good to do that" continued Mr. Wolinski.
Al Jazeera.

Thought For The Day No. 34 - With The Rabbi Anders Weiss

Those who make religion their God will not have God for their religion.

Thomas Erskine of Linlathen

What's Right In Russia?

I haven't read all of it yet, but what I've read has been somewhat illuminating.

I'm referring to the report  "What 10 Years of Putin Have Brought" (available in English)...well, amongst other things, what they have bought is more and more corruption (according to one index their ranking puts them alongside such allumni as Zimbabwe and Sierra Leone), hugely rising gas prices, a population fall of some half a million a year, a lack of activity in the face of the fact that per capita consumption of pure alcohol could be as high as 18 litres per person per year (when the World Health Organisation cites half of that figure being a critical level, over which consumption has an effect on mortality rates)..oh, and that's before we get on to the winter olympics being hosted in the hottest part of the country. Suddenly I'm feeling a lot better about the impending London olympics.

Since the FSB have been seizing copies left right and centre, and the host website has suffered Denial of Service attacks, we can only conclude that there is something in it..

Wackypedia - Laos

The previous ones are here and here.

Laos is a very pale blue liquid, slightly more viscous than water, that appears colourless in dilute solution. It has strong oxidizing properties, and is a powerful bleaching agent. It is used as a disinfectand and weedkiller, and in rocketry, as a propellant. The oxidizing capacity of Laos is so strong that it is considered a highly reactive oxygen species.

Laos was first isolated in 1918 by Jean Louis Schlesser by reacting nitric acid with citric fuckwish. Schlesser's process was used from the end of the 19th century until the middle of the 20th century.

For a long time, Laos was believed to be unstable, because attempts to separate the Laotian portion from the water, which is present during synthesis, failed. This instability was however due to traces of impurities (transitional metal salts) that catalyze the decomposition of the Laos.

Er, ok..