..World News Continued...

..because the globe just won't stop turning..

USA
Vandals on the outskirts of Washington DC have caused damage to two bus shelters. Glass panes which made up part of the advertising hoardings were smashed, and graffiti, some of which included obscenities, was daubed on the walls. A Washington DC police spokesman said in a statement "it defies all comprehension how people could do such a thing. These bus shelters are used all the time, and there's a school less than two miles away". (Associated Press)

Afghanistan
A 98 year old man tragically died at the weekend after choking on scampi. Ibrahim Khan had been attending a birthday party on the outskirts of Kabul when the tragedy happened. He was rushed to nearby Kabul hospital where he was declared dead at the scene. President Hamed Karzai was said to be 'saddened' by the news. (BBC).

Ireland
The building of the new Dublin bypass has caused some consternation amongst local residents. The three lane highway, which will pass around the outskirts of the city, will, some protestors say, create an eyesore and will not alleviate traffic congestion in the centre. "It's a feckin' joke" said local housewife Mhaire McCann. "We're trying to get away from the image of 'Paddy the drunken road builder' in this country and now the authorities go and do this." she blasted.
Mayor of Dublin Gerry Breen disagreed however. " I disagree with that type of thing" he said. "The new bypass will generate jobs for local businesses and will breathe much-needed new life into the outskirts of Dublin, not to mention the city as a whole, when it is finished." he continued.

Norway
Oslo schoolboy Thor Bjaaland had an unexpected trip into family history at the weekend.
Thor, 12, had been looking for some paints in the attic of his home on the outskirts of the city, when he found some of his fathers school textbooks, buried underneath a load of junk.
"I couldn't believe my eyes" he said. "I was just looking through some old boxes which didn't contain anything interesting, just a load of old newspapers and some magazines with pictures of bare ladies. But underneath, I realised that there were some really valuable old books".
The books, which had weathered the years well and were in quite good condition, seemed to be written in modern Norwegian, a germanic language spoken in Norway at the time and closely related to Danish and Swedish. The books dealt with a variety of contemporary topics including trigonometry, titration experiments, and what I did on my holiday in France.
Local experts were called in and the books were safely removed and taken to the nearby Oslo museum. "Some of the books dated back as far as 1982" said a museum spokesman. "It really is a part of living history, and Thor must be proud to see that his father did very well in maths and science, though not so well in creative writing" she continued.
Thor's father, Oskar, was completely killed in 2003 in an incident involving a threshing machine and some loose-fitting clothing.

Ghana
A 'glamorous granny' event was held at the weekend in the outskirts of Acora, all in aid of charity.
In the closely fought contest, 67 year old Joyce Akkembaye emerged the winner, and claimed the prize of restaurant tokens worth 100 Ghanaian Cedis ( a little under 50 pounds) and apron with 'glamorous granny' printed on it.
"I didn't think I would win, because some of the other grannies were very glamorous" said a delighted Joyce. "My grandchildren are very proud".
Local church of Mount Zion had a different view, however. "These people will burn for all eternity in the lake of fire" explained a spokesman. (Reuters)




..and that's all the world news for now!

Either Believe In What You're Doing Or Don't Do It

As quoted from Tallinn University's summer school's homepage, a 'Fun Fact' : "The Estonian language is a nightmare to learn"...hmmm, that sure is a lot of fun, and is going to inspire prospective students on the Estonian language courses!

In actuality, I doubt that it's any more or less of a 'nightmare' than any other foreign language, but the point is, any kind of stress engendered by that kind of mind set is likely to hinder the learning process, thus becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. For an organization which is charging people money in order to learn Estonian to espouse such an attitude  is outrageous...

World News...continued.

As promised..


Syria
Mr. and Mrs. Jaleel of Damascus have given birth to a healthy baby boy. Little Ahmed was born just after midnight on Saturday, the proud parents were delighted to announce, weighing in at 6 and a half pounds, at the Royal Hospital on the outskirts of the city. Quipped Mrs Jaleel, 'if he eats anything like his father, that weight is set to double and double!'. Mother and baby are both doing fine.

Estonia
Temperatures soared as the long hot summer continued at the weekend, the mercury reaching record levels of some 34 degrees on the outskirts of Tallinn. Locals sunbathed, sprayed each other with water or bought ice lollies in the searing  heat. Local resident Mr. Kalev said "it's very hot. What we need is a good thunderstorm to clear the air". Tallinn borough council advised people to use high factor sunscreen whilst sunbathing, and for mothers with babies and senior citizens to stay indoors in the middle of the day.

China
The travellers' encampment on the outskirts of Shanghai, which had for some time marred local residents' lives, now appears to have moved on. It is thought that the travellers' next destination will be Beijing. "I'm just glad to see the back of them"', said housewife Mrs. Chang "they have been nothing but trouble since they arrived".  Hong Wong from the Shanghai Local Authority  stated in a press release that "we are not opposed in principle to travelling people and those with alternative ways of life, but we are seeking a compromise solution which will benefit all parties". (Reuters).

Romania
A 64 year old Belgian tourist was pickpocketed on the metro in the outskirts of Bucharest on Sunday, losing his mobile phone in the process. Mr. Pierre van Aadendorff, of Brussels, said "the last time I saw it was about twenty minutes beforehand, when I received an SMS from my daughter in Brussels saying that she had been given the all-clear following her cervical smear. The next thing I knew, it was gone."
Mr. Aadendorff reported the incident to the central police station in Bucharest; police issued a warning to tourists to 'watch out'. "I was able to contact the company to block the number and, since I have insurance, I will be able to get a new phone once I return to Belgium" continued Mr. Aadendorff. "We used my wife's phone for the rest of the holiday, so all's well that ends well. I just feel sorry that people think that they can get away with it" he said.
The Aadendorffs had been enjoying a sightseeing tour of Romania.

Algeria
Mrs. Bouhadienne's cat made a welcome return on Tuesday night, following a three day absence from his home in the outskirts of Algiers. "I'd given up all hope" she said."'I thought he must have been poisoned or fallen down a hole, because you never know these days".
The cat, whose name is Aladdin, appeared at the door late on Tuesday "somewhat bedraggled and hungry, but otherwise ok" said Mrs. Bouhadienne. When questioned if she would be letting Aladdin out again in future, she retorted "no way, not after this ordeal, he's staying under lock and key - I've already bought a litter tray!". (Associated Press).

World News...

...in brief...

Uruguay
Revellers didn't let the rain spoil the annual 'bake fest', held at the weekend at a park in the outskirts of Montevideo. The fair was opened by local celebrity Rula Lenska and raised just over thirty thousand Uruguyan Pesos (about a thousand pounds) for Help The Aged. Top prize went to Mrs. Menenzes' black forest gateau.

Somalia
125,000 Somali Shillings' (about fifty pounds) worth of gardening equipment was stolen from a lock up garage on the outskirts of Mogadishu last Thursday. Police are looking for two men.


Cambodia
The price of margarine is set to see an unpopular rise in shops in and around the outskirts of Phnom Penh. A 250g tub of margarine, previously retailing at 3,299 Riel (about 50 pence)  will cost 4,299 Riel  from Wednesday at midnight. Local housewife Vera Shivanouk described the news as 'typical'.

Ukraine
Mrs. Fillipova of Kiev had a nasty surprise when she woke up on Friday morning. Two huge 'for sale' signs had been erected outside her small wooden house on the outskirts of the city. It transpired that contractors had placed these in error - her neighbours, the Korsakovskis, had in fact put their house up for sale just the day before and the workmen had got the wrong address by accident. 'It's a simple mistake to make and there are no hard feelings since the agents immediately re-located the signs after I'd pointed it out. I'm just glad to have things ironed out and want to say that I am most definitely staying here' said Mrs. Fillipova to local newspaper the Kiev Enquirer. (Associated Press).

Canada
A wedding reception on the outskirts of Toronto on Satruday evening was marred when a fight broke out between rival groups of men. The scuffle spilled out on to the streets outside the 'Toronto Diner', and the police were eventually called. Local traders reported reduced takings. The bride was said to be 'shaken'.

..more news from around the globe tomorrow..

Thought For The Day No. 27 - With The Rabbi Anders Weiss

...psychologist, spiritual guru and arbiter of good taste..

No silly notion of playing the hero - what have creatures like us to do with heroism who are not yet barely honest?

George MacDonald

The Beatles Tours Of Estonia

Today we remember the Beatles' visits to Estonia during their touring days. Please note that this isn't part of the '60 Years of the Puumaja Crew' series of articles that seems to have died on its arse lately anyway.

February 1964, Tallinn, Estonia, and something happened that meant the whole place was never going to be exactly the same (though it remained pretty much the same) again. People switched on their TVs to be shocked by four young men who'd just touched down at the Lennujaam, with their short hair and relatively normal accents, playing music that the like of which hadn't been heard before on these shores for at least a couple of months.

Promoters were unsure about how the band would go down and so only booked them a one off show at the Estonian Drama Theatre on Pärnu Maantee, staying at the Skane hotel behind the Balti Jaam. They played just eight numbers, three of which were broadcast on ETV later that night, on the popular pop music show of the time 'üks, kaks, kolm...valmis!', hosted by a very young Ivo Linna, which still holds the record for the highest viewing figures of any Estonian TV show ( 87 million people).  Interestingly, Paul McCartney was seriously hungover on the day and can be seen just about to vomit during the closing of 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand'.

The country was hooked and the band hit the town to celebrate that evening, with manager Brian Epstein taking the boys to the Valli Baar and buying them rounds of 'millimallikas', a concoction of sambuca, tequila and tabasco sauce, which was becoming a Beatle drink even then. Indeed, the closing song  from the Sergeant Pepper's album, 'A day in the life', was inspired by the drink. Unfortunately they all got mugged on the way back from the tram to the Skane hotel, Epstein losing his wallet in the process.


The Beatles' success was such that they were invited back that August, staying at the swanky Viru Hotel this time. for the first 'christmas in the summer', with the same huge screaming crowds of girls and homosexuals waiting for them at the airport as there had come to be every place they played (except the Phillipines), playing a packed-out Lauluvaljak in spite of the rain.  The sound was that good that some of the tracks ended up on the near-mythical 'Live in Estonia' album, released on bootleg some years later before finally being officially released on the Beatles Anthology.  The tour was such a success that one Finnish man named his dog 'Rinko', for a week or two before changing it back. Another TV show appearance ('Singalong With Valdo Pant')  followed and that was it for another year.

1965, sporting their newly-awarded MBEs, the hair was a bit longer, the songs a bit better, but still the same drummer, and still the sold out Lauluvaljak with the screaming fans, introduced by Urmas Ott . They got away with charging a slightly higher ticket price (2 Kroons) than before, and a second date in Tartu was added to the itinerary at the last minute. Some of the tracks from this concert also appeared on the live bootleg album mentioned above.

1966 and a torrid year this time; a different venue, the Linnahall, which they boys didn't like, and a much poorer sound where the singing just couldn't be heard above the screams. The tour was really doomed from the start when John Lennon was reported as saying that the newly-released Revolver album was 'way better than the Kalevipoeg', provoking protests and a backlash in the media. The hotel staff at the Viru Hotel were rude and curt with the lads at breakfast, saying that since they hadn't paid for an all inclusive deal they were inelligible for the executive breakfast, which provoked a food fight ending in Ringo Starr being held in a headlock for some minutes by security staff. The concert sadly ended, amid chants of 'we want the Stones' with McCartney blasting at the audience in his scouse accent to  ' ..just foockk off, okay?'.

Popular wisdom had it that this was the last time the Beatles ever set foot on Estonian soil again (as the Beatles -in fact George Harrison came to Tallinn on a stag do in 2001). However this is not so. Intriguingly, the demos for some of the Abbey Road tracks, namely 'She's so heavy' and 'Maxwell's silver hammer', along with an unreleased track 'You bastard', which as of today remain unreleased, were recorded at an anonymous address in Nõmme. Perhaps one of the greatest chapters in the history of the second greatest band of the last 45 years or so is still waiting to be written?

Thought For The Day No. 26 - With The Rabbi Anders Weiss

...psychologist, spiritual guru and arbiter of good taste..

Whenever you're yearning for material goods and more of the best of everything, remember that ivory, pederasts and shrunken human heads have all been must-have items in different times, places and cultures..

A. Whyte - but what does he know..

Cheap Papers Give Rise To Cheap Opinions

It appears I am far from alone (I didn't suspect I was) in the one or two posts I had written viewing England and the English in not always glowing terms. It's nearly five years since I voted with my feet in leaving and it appears little changes.

A Canadian travel writer, Rory MacLean, based in Berlin looked at this in the light of the recent world cup, in this post . He does so with reference to some of the heinous tabloid headlines (these are the ones he could show you) that accompanied the team's glorious draws with a country for which 'soccer' is a kid's game, another country racked by long term internecine strife and a cruel colonial legacy, unconvincing defeat versus another country with a somewhat chequered past, with a population as he puts it of less than Greater Manchester (although since there are 11 a side in a team regardless of the pool of potentials to choose from I often find this particular argument a bit moribund) before finally crumpling as soon as they had to play against anybody any good.

So much for the problem, but what does MacLean think is a possible solution to this malaise (apart from curbing press freedoms after all, which, something tells me, he won't go for)? It's hard to say. However, I will be able to at least try to get some ideas from the source itself in a week or so - I am going on a creative writing course at Tallinn University taken by...Rory MacLean! Will post any relevant feedback...