Drink Bar Comedy Nights In Tallinn Are Back

The Drink Bar comedy nights organised by Comedy Estonia kicked off again last night after the summer break.

And in some style, there was a really strong lineup, hosted by the unstoppable Louis including plenty of regulars- a lot of people had evidently spent the summer polishing their joke [sic], so there were plenty of laughs ringing in my ears.

I was hesitant about going when I saw that there were 154 listed on Facebook as 'going' and a similar number as 'maybe', but it wasn't quite Hillsborough, though getting that way. Hats off to the bar staff anyway.

Glad I went, it's an excellent place to meet up with regular CE fans, would-be comics from the open mic circuit, newbies (the friend I brought along was impressed) tourists and the mandatory sprinkling of hotties to gaze longingly at from the other side of the bar.

Ben Richards was a personal favourite of mine (as a comic I mean, not a hottie), I like to think he's kind of like a funny version of me, and his 'but sir..' comeback to a heckler (you needed to have been there) caused me to spit Drink Baar Tume on somebody's back.

The headliner, Jacques Barrett, to use the parlance of the young people today, kicked ass, with a truly original slant on being from Australia (there were three Aussies on the bill in total which seems like overkill but in fact was not) and his reflections on living in the UK reminded me of why I am here.

Regular CE people Stewart, Janika and Corey all had great sets - it seems that the large, paying crowd seems to raise their games, it may have been my imagination, but everyone seemed to be even stronger than the open mic nights (where punters don't have to pay of course).

Sander did a set in Estonian so I didn't catch everything but it was consistently funny so far as the Estonian speakers were concerned.

Louis and Janika of Comedy Estonia need to work on their Scottish accents a bit though, they sounded more like South Wales or Birmingham, via the Transvaal, although it set up a brilliant comeback from Janika (referring to Louis' intro) which for me was one of the killer gags of the night.

Unfortunately there were some English dickheads in the crowd, not just me (I'm half Scottish though) but also a large group - moving the night to Thursday means there are likely to be more of these as Thurs eve is often the first night of the largely unwelcome (though the DB seems to encourage it) stag parties - yes they're still coming over. Fortunately this group left in a large conga-line at the end, and were waved off by all twenty thousand people in there, much to their chagrin I think.

There was also a drunk, bullnecked Russian guy who kept yelling out 'ja neponjal' at inconvenient times during Jacques' set, although the latter didn't hear him and in any case I don't know how heckler squelchers work when neither person speaks the other's language (assuming Jacques doesn't speak Russian).

Things seem to be going from strength to, er, strength with the CE crowd - the latest item I read is that not only do they have Steve Hughes and Glenn Wool coming for a show later in the month at the large Kino Sõprus venue (I assume they've sacked off Club Prive) along with the return of Dylan Moran a few days later, but there's also gonna be a regular slot on Estonian Radio 2 with interviews and the like. I suppose next I'm gonna read they've been selected to go into space or something.

If you're in Tallinn, check 'em out!

Chinwag Tuesday

A nice podcast illustrating how ex-pat comedy in European countries should be, from the Tuesday Chinwag, three English guys who've all done standup and who meet either once a week or once a month at a cafe in Stockholm, Sweden, in front of a live audience.

Think Skinner and Baddiel meet something else that's been on Radio 4 in the cafe off that sitcom, but it's probably way better than that.

Great window on the west to listen to from behind the iron curtain here in Tallinn.

They're on Facebook too.

It's A Hard Job...Estonian Tax Authority Swoops On Strip Clubs

According to a relatively recent report by Steve Roman , on the Estonian Public Broadcaster's (ERR - which has nothing to do with the Estonian state) English language site, well, over a month ago actually, the Estonian tax authority had a little crack down on people illegally working in lap dancing clubs and the like.

A job which we might all wish to volunteer for if the EMTA's resources are strained, no doubt, but the story itself is pretty comical (q.v.).

Apparently when asked why they were working without a permit, some of the girls denied that fact and said they were visiting (their bosses were in hiding in some back room). The obvious question, since the girl or girls was wearing something which you could barely strain tea with, was why they were dressed so immodestly even for Tallinn in the summer, if they weren't working at the aforementioned establishment..."because it's hot" came, in all seriousness, the reply.

This is high comedy not least because it's true (normally I'd argue that made up stuff is far funnier than reality, as indeed it is, but you have to know Tallinn really); the quote from the management as to why they were running away through back doors comes a good second in the pricelessness stakes - "we need to familiarise employees with fire escape routes". Indeed. Well, it was hot, as they'd said, a fire would explain why.

It didn't end there, another girl remained locked in a toilet cubical for some time, during which repeated flushings were heard (presumably loads and loads of tablets to be dispensed with). Upon ultimately emerging, we can only speculate as to her excuse - maybe diarrea?...I mean yeah, I've got the unpredictable shits, so what better course to take than don skimpy white undies and go and wiggle my ass in someone's face, nothing could go wrong. Still, some people like that type of thing.

As noted the PMC would like to volunteer to help the overstrained tax authorities in any future surveillance in this sector of the entertainments industry, provided the latter promise that any tips we leave are tax deductible - particularly as slipping them discreetly down somebody's thong might be followed by withdrawing a shit-covered hand..

Skype Is An Estonian Company, Y'all

Me: (on calling a cable TV phone in show based in the US) "Yes, I'm calling from Estonia".
Host: "Oh so this call is costing you a lot?"
Me: "No it's no problem, I'm calling on Skype".
Host: "Oh, do they have Skype in Estonia?"
Me: "Sigh..".

Economic Problems Helping or Hindering Obama?

One man's (Peter Schiff) view of Obama on the economy; 69 000 new jobs in a country the size of the US seems pitiful regardless of one's stance...

Still Very Broken...Seth's Blog

For me and my more spartan lifestyle, the most frustrating design I can think of at the moment is that of the Mynthon mint sweets/breath fresheners. A smoker's must-have, naturally you are not going to eat an entire packet in one go, so the box contains a lid which is supposed to click shut. However being made of flimsy cardboard and in general badly designed, it's only a matter of time before a mint explosion goes off in your pocket, leaving the shrapnel of more or less all of the mints, coated in dust and bits of crap that lurk in the pockets of even the most particular of folks, and thus inedible (washing in water just has the effect of reducing them in size, then sticking together in on glutinous morass once dried)...

...but any way I'll be avoiding a Subaru for the time being.

Open Mic Tips

If we were to ever attempt an open mic spot, such as the one that took place at NoKu, on Pikk 5 in Tallinn, Estonia last saturday, we'd give the following pieces of advice:

1) Prepare, but don't over-prepare. Especially a precisely worded script is unnecessary. I mean run through it in your mind and out loud, and have the ideas jotted down on a piece of paper, safely esconced in your pocket just in case, but don't get hung up on a script. You can't possibly remember every single word or if you did you run the risk of becoming too mechanical.
2) Related to 1) use an economy of words, i.e. cut out all unnecessary pointers, asides, reiterations etc.
3) Related to 1) and 2) try to cut out the 'ums' and 'ers' or you run the risk of sounding like Andrus Ansip speaking English. Which isn't a good thing. Pauses and even quite long silences are preferable to this and there are some comics who make an art of this.
4) Face the audience square on. Don't focus on one part of the audience, or the other comics, or still worse, don't turn your back on an audience.
5) Don't overindulge in alcohol before, however shitting it you are. You'll just slow down even more, and run the risk of forgetting things.
6) Ad libbing can sometimes work.
7) Listen to and watch the other comics, both experience and novice. You can learn something from all of them.
8) Don't be afraid to be yourself or try something off-the-wall, especially if the two things coincide.
9) Have a good time. It's a free open mic night, it's not the London Palladium for fuck's sake.
10) Expect to be shit on your first outing (or second or third or fourth). One of our staff once worked with a guy who did standup in London for a long time; he said there was one comic on the scene who was shit. His name was Harry Hill.

So, if we ever give it a try, we'll be sure to re-visit this post..

One of our staff had a strange experience the other week. He teaches English at a private language school in Tallinn and, as a way of facilitating written homework had given his gmail addy to the group early on in the course, in January. OK so far but he hadn't counted on getting an email from one of the students professing her undying affection for him and the fact that she'd seen him in a dream..twice.

Great, you might think, but not really. We're into unrequited territory here- well it's definitely unrequited on the PMC's part. It's that old truism which nevertheless happens to be true - why can't it be the fit ones that send you these messages?!

Nonetheless there is nothing worse than unrequited affections - take the worst method of execution, hanging drawing and quartering or whatever it may be, and that's no where near as bad as unrequited love, at least the execution has the release of death at the end of it! We know this from having been on the other side of the fence, but it's also true that the recipient can feel bad too, with feelings of guilt and anxiety.

So, lesson learned, don't give out email addresses to students so readily or if doing so